mid-week thoughts.

I'm sitting here procrastinating. I do it often and usually I learn my lesson but still, isn't it just super fun trying to scramble and do everything you need to get done in a short amount of time? Stress free huh? Hahaha far,far from it.
I have my thank you letters to all of the great supporters who helped send me to Moldova. I have to reciept all of the money I used for the 2 months in Moldova. I need to send a package to the girls at the Freedom Home. And I'm trying to get my mind to wrap around the fact that in a year from now, I'll be a college graduate who has the whole world at her fingerprints. I have no idea my options. I do know that I think about the girls at the Home often. You know when you have been a part of someones life for a period of time and then you leave, then you aren't sure if you'll ever see them again? I feel that way. I loved being with those girls. They blessed my life, changed my perspective, and in a way, changed my heart. India changed my life. Moldova changed my heart. Only God has the greatest plan for my life, my own human desires are nothing compared to what He has in store.
Think about what you want or have planned for your life and then think how much more God has in store for you. It's indescribable.

Home and Dissecting.

I made it home safely. Lord willing, in one piece. The plane rides were smooth and nothing really exciting to report except that I swear I saw cousin It, the guy next to me on the Munich flight must have been Tom Hanks long lost brother, Bono was at the Chisinau airport, and Iron Man was on my flight to Munich. All in all I thought I as on the movie Adjustment Bureau because it was the first movie I watched on my second flight then fell asleep. It was like the twilight zone. I barely made it to my Kansas City flight...after booking it through the airport running past 29 gates. Lets just say I slept like a baby once we arrived home. Praise the Lord I am home, but still waiting for my luggage to arrive from Newark.
You know when you come home from some amazing experience and you sit there for hours dissecting the things that you've learned? Ya, I'm still doing that. On to Day 2. I think about the girls and the kids often. I wonder how they are doing, what breakthroughs they are having, how the kids are, what the atmosphere in the home is like. And it comes to a point where you have to let God be in control. You have to come to realize that He is right there alongside them, loving them and supporting them through everything that they are feeling and thinking. They are world-changers in that home. All of them have the potential to grow in the Lord, smile with joy understanding that they are some of the worlds greatest heroes, and become amazing women of God that Moldova won't even know what happened to it. I may never see these women again but in heaven, when I do see them, I can't wait to dance before the Lord with them. Laugh and smile with them because we are all pain-free. I can't wait to see millions of men, women and children who were rescued from human trafficking up there in heaven. I'm so excited for that eternity. Tears roll down my face because that will be a forever time where they are safe, loved, protected, pain and disease free and with the body of Christ.

The past few days have been so relaxing at home. No pictures to prove it yet but just picture a worn-out college student who has her hair on top of her head and wears her favorite cut-off sweat pants all day long. Life's good.

Beginning to an End.

The time here in Moldova is coming to a sweet, satisfying end. The girls at the home have blessed my life in ways that they will never know. Their beautiful souls and heroic lives will forever be etched on my soul.

This small country that is a speck on the map has molded my heart and worldview to love more. It has taught me that trafficking is not just an issue that has become a fad with my generation but a pandemic that is escalating out of control. It has showed me that so many people talk the talk about abolishing trafficking around the world but so little is being done. It's great that there is so much awareness, and that is the first step, but where is the fruit? Many organizations, like Project Rescue, are in the small percent that is giving women and girls their freedom. This little country has taught me that a solid identity in a person is essential for developing hope and trust. It has taught me that these people had more to teach me than I realized. In return I am not sure if I made a difference or taught anyone anything. It's alright. God moves.

The children at the home have stolen my heart. I love them so much. Little Elena, Alexandra, Nastea, and Veronica are little faces that brightened my mornings. Their laughs and their way of making me smile made me feel so great. Little Elena loved to bark like the Freedom Homes dog, Jack. She would yell, "Mama!" (The word she would say to anyone to do something for her) and walk towards the couch. We would get up on the couch and look out the window and we would both make barking noises and chant Jacks name. I'm sure the poor dog didn't hear us or he was ignoring our annoying calls. Or when Veronica would quietly creep towards me with small steps and whisper to me to be quiet. She would giggle and say "Shh, shh!" then laugh histerically because it was the funniest thing in the world. Little Alexandra loved to run. Her little feet would barely touch the ground but her joyful laugh would fill the home. Nastea was a 5-year old. Haha, she would love to do puzzles with you and she LOVED to do your hair. She was a mamas girl and it showed. Who wouldn't love someone who loved you back? All of these sweet memories are wonderful. I only wish that I could videotape or take pictures of every second of every day, there are too many things to remember. I will miss the women at the home. I will miss *Tina running to me when I walked through the door and telling me she was happy to see me and that she missed me. I'm going to miss *Samantha telling me over and over again that a trolley bus would be faster than a plane when I travel back to America. She was a little stinker. Love her. I will miss *Vanessa telling me that she loved me over and over again. I will miss the time that I found out she disliked fish soup and offered her some, she thought it was the funniest thing in the world. I will miss communicating with the women with my broken Romanian and hand gestures. Such sweet moments. I will miss being surrounded by amazing, heroic women. All the more reason to act on ending modern-day slavery. I'm going to miss the laughter and the praises that filled the home. I will miss the chaos that comes with a home full of women. Life is not perfect so don't think that because so many of my memories may bring a smile to your face or a tear to your eye that every single day was perfect. There were times where I just wanted to leave. There was too much to handle or the kids were so not cooperative. There were times when I just wanted to bawl because the moods of the women could change so easily because of their broken spirits and mentality by the people who broke them. It broke my heart. But those are times that we don't need to dwell on, there are all the beautiful times that were found amidst the desperation. Those are the times I will remember. Those are the times that I am praying all the women and girls who are held captive in trafficking will feel and find.

The fresh fruit and vegetables here are incomparable to any other place I have been to. When was the last time you could go to the outdoor market and buy raspberries, peaches, strawberries, cherries, carrots, potatoes, cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, and beans for a small price? It was wonderful! I will miss that. Wouldn't you?

I may or may not miss the rides on the rutieras and trolley buses. The 101 rutiera was always packed and just recently I was butt to butt with some lady I didn't even know! Plus I was like the hunchback of notre dame in the front windshield. Praise the Lord we never got an any accidents in the rutieras. I will miss the drivers though. They cracked me up when it came to rolling up their windows because the current can make you "sick". And when they would roll up their shirts and tuck it in under their chests. It made me laugh when they laughed at my Romanian. It made me angry when they would yell at someone. I won't miss that no one smiled on the rutieras or trolley buses. I have concluded that it is because of the culture; hopelessness and loss of identity have a great effect on the outer-image. I will miss being able to communicate with a group of people because I chose to learn their language.

Going overseas is more than just a ticket to experience another culture. It can be a heart changing experience that makes or breaks your life. The Lord will shape you from the people that you meet, the things that you see and what you allow Him to do in your life.

Moldova you have been wonderful and I am sad to say good-bye but my beautiful family awaits me and I am so stinkin' excited to see them at the airport tomorrow night!

Love you little girlies. So much.

What a Glorious Day.

This week has been wonderful so far. It is my last full week here in Chisinau. Bittersweet.

Caroline left for the States on Tuesday. What a wonderful friendship I was blessed with for the past few months. It was sad to see her go, though she is getting married in September. You go girl, so this won't be the last time I'll see her.

So for my last week at the Freedom Home I have already done so much! On Monday I was taught by Angela, the cook, on how to make compot. It is a delicious fruit drink made up of sugar, a fruit and water. SO good. The fruit that seems to be the most preferred are raspberries and cherries. The girls at the home mixed both of them together, talk about tasty! Though the ingredients are simple, the outcome is wonderful. We made over 30 jars of compot. It was a lot of hard work (and being told over and over again to do something right :)) but there were so many laughs and smiles throughout the process.

The girls and kids at the home are doing well. I am loving the last few times when I get to sit down on the couches with them and talk about how they are doing. I am savoring the last cups of tea and coffee in the morning over a bowl of oatmeal with them. I'm getting ready to always remember the contagious laughs and giggles. I will miss the language barrier, because actions speak louder than words. I am soaking in the last days outside with the children on the playground. I'm not ready to go but there is a time for everything in our lives. Just another lesson I am learning in my life. I'm off, soon, to spend my last Wednesday night with these wonderful, sweet people in my life.


[These little ones have my heart! Love their little souls so much. They will all grow up to be amazing, women of God.]

[They will be world changers.]

This is Olga, my wonderful Romanian teacher. She has taught me so much and after 19 lessons of 1.5 hours of language, I want to continue my learning in the States. She told me today that when I come back to Moldova, her apartment will be open to me and whoever I come with. They will, hopefully, be all moved into the home they are building and the apartment will be open for rent. So future husband, we have a home in Moldova. We just have to get there ;D

A word from the Lord I read today:

Psalm 52:8-9

But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever. For what you have done I will always praise you in the presence of your faithful people. And I will hope in your name, for you name is good.

Baptisms, food, traveling, sunburns..

I can't believe it is already July. This summer has already flown by so quickly. Moldova has been great and I've tried to listen, understand and dissect every minute in this beautiful country. This past week we had a few days without electricity, met new friends from YWAM, said some good-byes, ate delicious food, drank coffee, watched movies, and enjoyed the beautiful landscape surrounding us. We spent the night at the FH on Wednesday night and they made an amazing Tajikistan-style rice dinner. It was so good! The girls, Caroline and I were watching the news after the kids had gone to bed and the news was talking about this court case. The girls had turned up the volume and were sitting very closely to the television, soaking up every word. I asked *Sophia if she could translate and tell us what they were talking about and her eyes lite up. She said that the 16 men that were in the courtroom were former traffickers and they were all being sentenced! What a glorious day and moment! The girls were clapping and smiling.
Now if you were to take a step back and look at this situation and even try to glimpse inside the minds of these girls, what would you see or feel?: Joy, sorrow, happiness, would you hear them remembering things from their past? Would you imagine them seeing their trafficker put behind bars? What a wonderful, redemptive day that will be. I was so happy that the girls saw that there is hope. That there are those people who are being put behind bars for the evil actions that they have done. I have become closer to *Sophia over the past couple of days. She helps me with my Romanian and bears with me when I don't understand something. Her smile and joy for life is beautiful. It's hard to believe that a wonderful human-being like *Sophia was torn apart, from the inside out. She struggles with sleeping at night due to nightmares. Be praying for her because just this morning she told me she didn't ge to sleep until 4:00a.m. again. Bless her heart.
Gosh, that reminds me that the goodbyes that will happen in a week are going to be so hard.

Today three girls from the Freedom Home were baptized! What a wonderful step into an even deeper relationship with Christ. It was a huge step for the girls and the love of God was written all over their faces. As the girls were talking up to the platform I thought, "Where were they a year ago? Did they even fathom that their lives could be different? That Gods love has restored hope into their lives? It brought tears to my eyes. It was a privilege to be apart of a wonderful day. We took so many pictures of the girls and their kids and everyone that works at the Home but I can't post them. Just know that their smiles are vibrant, their spirits are soaring and God is working in their lives. This picture below is where they sat when we prayed for them before we all headed outside (in the rain I might add) for them to be baptized.
I think it's neat photo. That's neat.

Caroline and I were able to travel to Odessa, Ukraine with our friend Anna. It was a blessing to have her along because she spoke Russian and Romanian. We traveled by bus at night (going through 2 passport checkpoints at 2 and 2:30a.m. in the morning) and arrived in Odessa at 5a.m. Of course nothing seemed to be open so we were able to see the city before most people were actually up. The city was so quiet... and I was desperately ready for a coffee :) The only place that was open for that kind of need was McDonalds but a cappuccino from anywhere is great at 5a.m.! The sun seemed to be at a perfect place in the sky so early in the morning and my pictures turned out much better than I thought they would. I was quite pleased. The city and Black Sea were beautiful. If you ever get to this side of the world, I recommend going to Odessa or anywhere near the Black Sea. The beaches are so cool because not only is it white sand that covers the beach but seashells that have been broken down into really small pieces. It was so cool! There were things that you would expect to see while in a Eastern European country, things you would find somewhat normal; coffee shops, old historic buildings, unique apartment buildings, the aroma of the Black Sea, tourist-y things to go to, really busy people walking really fast by you because you are walking too slow, dogs everywhere, and really fast cars that shouldn't be driving as fast as they are. Then there are the things that just aren't as normal; gypsy beggars, dead animals, brothels, men in tight speedos and old ladies with really thin bikinis. Even in all the laughter about the awkward men and women at the beach I was still reminded that Odessa is a port city. A city where trafficking is a huge problem. It had me thinking that even as I sit on the comfortable, beautiful beach there could be and were girls that were being kidnapped, drugged and/or sold to some pimp at that very moment. It killed me that I couldn't do anything about it. But you have to be careful. When you are passionate about something you cannot beat yourself up about not being able to do something at every waking moment, it's humanly impossible. Fully rely on God, be faithful in Him and know He has all things in His hands. This is what I have to remind myself after I read an article about girls who have vanished from their village or after reading a novel that was based on a true story and facts about trafficking. The statistics and stories are real but God is bigger.

As this weekend wraps up, I pray you are having a great time with your family and friends. Enjoy those moments, they only come around once!

Blessings!