Live Dead

2011-11-29T18:17:00.003-06:00

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Ephesians 6:12-17

2011-11-03T16:52:00.002-05:00

Today my heart aches for those who don't have anyone to love them.

What do you think? If a man has one hundred sheep and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.
Matthew18:12-14

He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing.
Deuteronomy 10:18

Have I not wept for those in trouble? Has not my soul grieved for the poor?
Job 30:25

He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.
Proverbs 14:31

[dreamer]

2011-10-26T16:56:00.002-05:00

"You will arise and have compassion on Zion, for it is time to show favor to her; the appointed time has come. For her stones are dear to your servants; her very dust moves them to pity. The nations will fear the name of the Lord, all the kinds of the earth will revere your glory. For the Lord will rebuild Zion and appear in his glory."
Psalm 102: 13-16

Recently the Lord has laid a dream on my heart. It has been something that I have thought about often and questioned if and when it would happen.
He's given my a picture of me being in a home filled with children and teenagers. There is laughter and joy and the feeling of a family. The kids are of all different ages but they had/have one common purpose for being there: they found hope and love in this home. They are there because there is so much love, kindness, patience and hope for them. This home and these thoughts create an excitement and joy inside my heart. Over the past year the Lord has taught, shown and given me an understanding of what His love is; in a more deep way than I could have asked for.

So what to do with this new found love then to give it back to those who need it most?

2011-10-24T00:41:00.002-05:00

"From now on, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus."

Galatians 6:17

2011-10-21T22:17:00.002-05:00

The Lord reigns, let the earth be glad; let the distant shores rejoice. Clouds and thick darkness surround him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne. Fire goes before him and consumes his foes on every side. His lightening lights up the world; the earth sees and trembles. The mountains melt like wax before the Lord, before the Lord of all the earth. The heavens proclaim the his righteousness, and all peoples see his glory.

Psalm 97:1-6

2011-10-15T11:44:00.000-05:00

SO proud of my little sister, Anika. She's growing up into a beautiful, wonderful woman of God.

2011-10-14T09:13:00.002-05:00

"...and you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings."

Isaiah 58:12b

"...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called mighty oaks..."

Isaiah 61:3

His love is deep, his love is wide and it covers us all.

2011-10-09T11:12:00.003-05:00

"Evil can be undone, but it cannot 'develop' into good. Times does not heal it. The spell must be unwound, bit by bit."
C.S. Lewis

Taking part in ending the sexual abuse and exploitation against human beings around the world is taking out the powers of evil, bit by bit.

facts:

-250,00 to 500,000 children live as prostitutes in Brazil.
-3,500 children are trapped in brothels and clubs for commerical sex exploitation on the borders between Brazil, Paraguay and Argentina.
-40,000 annual births in Thailand go unregistered. Without a birth certificate, these children are denied health care and education, and are more vulnerable to exploitation and abuse.
-50% of human trafficking victims are minors.
-30% of sex workers in India are children.
-80% of human trafficking victims are women and children.

...2 children are sold into the human sex trade every minute.

Isaiah 58

v.1: Shout it loud, do not hold back. Raise your voice like a trumpet..
v7: Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter--when you see the naked, to clothe them, and turn away from your own flesh and blood?
v8: Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

2011-10-05T20:51:00.002-05:00

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart [guard]. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day.

Psalm 91:4-5

God is so good. There is no sweeter name or safer refuge.

2011-10-04T10:02:00.002-05:00

Ask me and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession. You will break them with a rod of iron, you will dash them to pieces like pottery.

Psalm 2:8-9

2011-10-03T08:19:00.002-05:00

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Isaiah 43:2

2011-10-02T15:11:00.003-05:00

Life really has a way of coming around and giving you a swift kick in the rear. This morning at church, life gave me just that.
I went in this early this morning (I cant emphasize on how early it really was) and helped with the parking team for my church. I am one of those crazy people wearing a bright orange vest holding two flags that I move crazily in the air; just to make sure that people know where they are going and where they are headed...hopefully in the right direction. Yep totally out of my comfort zone, but nonetheless the time of my life. So, I was only able to sneak in for the last 30 minutes of church but it was the exact time and place that I needed to be in. I swept into the back seat thinking this would be just another Sunday service, maybe feeling blessed as I left the parking lot. I was wrong. Which is becoming more common as I get older. Church has become the place where I get blessed the most. Paster Peter is in the third part of his series called I QUIT! and it's all about the things in life that can easily take us out; No Sweat, Critiquing, and this week was Complaining. Every week I've felt that Paster Peter was talking straight to me and I was the only one in the auditorium who felt guilty and who wanted to run out because they were sweating too much and people were probably starting to notice the large sweat beads running down my forehead (I'm sure many of you can't relate....). Let me give you a little history to how my last 48 hours have been. I was reminded, again, that the Lord is my sole provider and always will be. Why do I relentlessly forget who my God really is? And every time He proves faithful I feel embarassed but at the same time so humble because my God never forgets me or complains about me. This morning I complained about a circumstance with people in my life to my sister, she listened. But then as I was finishing my story, my sister has a story that she told me about, something else to complain about. It didn't seem like a problem this morning but Paster Peter proved that to be pretty, preposterous-ly wrong. As I sat in the back row of the auditorium, I felt out of place as Pastor Peter started to talk about complaining and how that can be so wrong in our lives. Of course I knew that, it just didn't seem like it was a problem in my life. I was not able to take notes but there is one thing that he said that has stuck with me "We need to get over the things we can't change and change what we can be". The situation that I was dealing with this morning I can't change but I can change my attitude towards it. It truly takes a willing heart and mind to be a Christ-filled person in this life. Also, he said that "The people that we hang around and share life with, are who we become". So, Annie-Laurie, don't hang out with the people that are consistently going to be complaing about life and things that they can't change. I needed to be that for my sister this morning; I will be better...for her and for my friends around me.
From feeling so jaded from the church and what it did to my family; I still learn so much from it.

Blessings to all of you who have overcome obstacles in your life, stopped the complaining and who have chosen to share life with people who care.

dream team.

2011-10-01T17:46:00.002-05:00

Today i was encouraged by my friend Elsa.
I love sharing life with people that are all passionate about going and doing great things. I love being surrounded by people who will give it all to honor and serve our King. What a wonderful community I have around me.
I cant wait to have our dream team Elsa; full of the people we love and support who want to make a difference in this world.

if we're this excited. God is going to make it happen.

Faith.

2011-09-30T19:08:00.002-05:00

Who I am to say my God doesn't provide?

It says provide 53 times in the Bible in over fifty verses.

My God is a provider.

Then this city will being me renown, joy, praise and honor before all nations on earth that hear of all the good things I do for it; and they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant prosperity and peace I provide for it. Jeremiah 33:9

mid-week thoughts.

2011-07-20T19:06:00.003-05:00

I'm sitting here procrastinating. I do it often and usually I learn my lesson but still, isn't it just super fun trying to scramble and do everything you need to get done in a short amount of time? Stress free huh? Hahaha far,far from it.
I have my thank you letters to all of the great supporters who helped send me to Moldova. I have to reciept all of the money I used for the 2 months in Moldova. I need to send a package to the girls at the Freedom Home. And I'm trying to get my mind to wrap around the fact that in a year from now, I'll be a college graduate who has the whole world at her fingerprints. I have no idea my options. I do know that I think about the girls at the Home often. You know when you have been a part of someones life for a period of time and then you leave, then you aren't sure if you'll ever see them again? I feel that way. I loved being with those girls. They blessed my life, changed my perspective, and in a way, changed my heart. India changed my life. Moldova changed my heart. Only God has the greatest plan for my life, my own human desires are nothing compared to what He has in store.
Think about what you want or have planned for your life and then think how much more God has in store for you. It's indescribable.

Home and Dissecting.

2011-07-12T08:24:00.002-05:00

I made it home safely. Lord willing, in one piece. The plane rides were smooth and nothing really exciting to report except that I swear I saw cousin It, the guy next to me on the Munich flight must have been Tom Hanks long lost brother, Bono was at the Chisinau airport, and Iron Man was on my flight to Munich. All in all I thought I as on the movie Adjustment Bureau because it was the first movie I watched on my second flight then fell asleep. It was like the twilight zone. I barely made it to my Kansas City flight...after booking it through the airport running past 29 gates. Lets just say I slept like a baby once we arrived home. Praise the Lord I am home, but still waiting for my luggage to arrive from Newark.
You know when you come home from some amazing experience and you sit there for hours dissecting the things that you've learned? Ya, I'm still doing that. On to Day 2. I think about the girls and the kids often. I wonder how they are doing, what breakthroughs they are having, how the kids are, what the atmosphere in the home is like. And it comes to a point where you have to let God be in control. You have to come to realize that He is right there alongside them, loving them and supporting them through everything that they are feeling and thinking. They are world-changers in that home. All of them have the potential to grow in the Lord, smile with joy understanding that they are some of the worlds greatest heroes, and become amazing women of God that Moldova won't even know what happened to it. I may never see these women again but in heaven, when I do see them, I can't wait to dance before the Lord with them. Laugh and smile with them because we are all pain-free. I can't wait to see millions of men, women and children who were rescued from human trafficking up there in heaven. I'm so excited for that eternity. Tears roll down my face because that will be a forever time where they are safe, loved, protected, pain and disease free and with the body of Christ.

The past few days have been so relaxing at home. No pictures to prove it yet but just picture a worn-out college student who has her hair on top of her head and wears her favorite cut-off sweat pants all day long. Life's good.

Beginning to an End.

2011-07-09T13:00:00.006-05:00

The time here in Moldova is coming to a sweet, satisfying end. The girls at the home have blessed my life in ways that they will never know. Their beautiful souls and heroic lives will forever be etched on my soul.

This small country that is a speck on the map has molded my heart and worldview to love more. It has taught me that trafficking is not just an issue that has become a fad with my generation but a pandemic that is escalating out of control. It has showed me that so many people talk the talk about abolishing trafficking around the world but so little is being done. It's great that there is so much awareness, and that is the first step, but where is the fruit? Many organizations, like Project Rescue, are in the small percent that is giving women and girls their freedom. This little country has taught me that a solid identity in a person is essential for developing hope and trust. It has taught me that these people had more to teach me than I realized. In return I am not sure if I made a difference or taught anyone anything. It's alright. God moves.

The children at the home have stolen my heart. I love them so much. Little Elena, Alexandra, Nastea, and Veronica are little faces that brightened my mornings. Their laughs and their way of making me smile made me feel so great. Little Elena loved to bark like the Freedom Homes dog, Jack. She would yell, "Mama!" (The word she would say to anyone to do something for her) and walk towards the couch. We would get up on the couch and look out the window and we would both make barking noises and chant Jacks name. I'm sure the poor dog didn't hear us or he was ignoring our annoying calls. Or when Veronica would quietly creep towards me with small steps and whisper to me to be quiet. She would giggle and say "Shh, shh!" then laugh histerically because it was the funniest thing in the world. Little Alexandra loved to run. Her little feet would barely touch the ground but her joyful laugh would fill the home. Nastea was a 5-year old. Haha, she would love to do puzzles with you and she LOVED to do your hair. She was a mamas girl and it showed. Who wouldn't love someone who loved you back? All of these sweet memories are wonderful. I only wish that I could videotape or take pictures of every second of every day, there are too many things to remember. I will miss the women at the home. I will miss *Tina running to me when I walked through the door and telling me she was happy to see me and that she missed me. I'm going to miss *Samantha telling me over and over again that a trolley bus would be faster than a plane when I travel back to America. She was a little stinker. Love her. I will miss *Vanessa telling me that she loved me over and over again. I will miss the time that I found out she disliked fish soup and offered her some, she thought it was the funniest thing in the world. I will miss communicating with the women with my broken Romanian and hand gestures. Such sweet moments. I will miss being surrounded by amazing, heroic women. All the more reason to act on ending modern-day slavery. I'm going to miss the laughter and the praises that filled the home. I will miss the chaos that comes with a home full of women. Life is not perfect so don't think that because so many of my memories may bring a smile to your face or a tear to your eye that every single day was perfect. There were times where I just wanted to leave. There was too much to handle or the kids were so not cooperative. There were times when I just wanted to bawl because the moods of the women could change so easily because of their broken spirits and mentality by the people who broke them. It broke my heart. But those are times that we don't need to dwell on, there are all the beautiful times that were found amidst the desperation. Those are the times I will remember. Those are the times that I am praying all the women and girls who are held captive in trafficking will feel and find.

The fresh fruit and vegetables here are incomparable to any other place I have been to. When was the last time you could go to the outdoor market and buy raspberries, peaches, strawberries, cherries, carrots, potatoes, cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, and beans for a small price? It was wonderful! I will miss that. Wouldn't you?

I may or may not miss the rides on the rutieras and trolley buses. The 101 rutiera was always packed and just recently I was butt to butt with some lady I didn't even know! Plus I was like the hunchback of notre dame in the front windshield. Praise the Lord we never got an any accidents in the rutieras. I will miss the drivers though. They cracked me up when it came to rolling up their windows because the current can make you "sick". And when they would roll up their shirts and tuck it in under their chests. It made me laugh when they laughed at my Romanian. It made me angry when they would yell at someone. I won't miss that no one smiled on the rutieras or trolley buses. I have concluded that it is because of the culture; hopelessness and loss of identity have a great effect on the outer-image. I will miss being able to communicate with a group of people because I chose to learn their language.

Going overseas is more than just a ticket to experience another culture. It can be a heart changing experience that makes or breaks your life. The Lord will shape you from the people that you meet, the things that you see and what you allow Him to do in your life.

Moldova you have been wonderful and I am sad to say good-bye but my beautiful family awaits me and I am so stinkin' excited to see them at the airport tomorrow night!

Love you little girlies. So much.

What a Glorious Day.

2011-07-06T06:21:00.005-05:00

This week has been wonderful so far. It is my last full week here in Chisinau. Bittersweet.

Caroline left for the States on Tuesday. What a wonderful friendship I was blessed with for the past few months. It was sad to see her go, though she is getting married in September. You go girl, so this won't be the last time I'll see her.

So for my last week at the Freedom Home I have already done so much! On Monday I was taught by Angela, the cook, on how to make compot. It is a delicious fruit drink made up of sugar, a fruit and water. SO good. The fruit that seems to be the most preferred are raspberries and cherries. The girls at the home mixed both of them together, talk about tasty! Though the ingredients are simple, the outcome is wonderful. We made over 30 jars of compot. It was a lot of hard work (and being told over and over again to do something right :)) but there were so many laughs and smiles throughout the process.

The girls and kids at the home are doing well. I am loving the last few times when I get to sit down on the couches with them and talk about how they are doing. I am savoring the last cups of tea and coffee in the morning over a bowl of oatmeal with them. I'm getting ready to always remember the contagious laughs and giggles. I will miss the language barrier, because actions speak louder than words. I am soaking in the last days outside with the children on the playground. I'm not ready to go but there is a time for everything in our lives. Just another lesson I am learning in my life. I'm off, soon, to spend my last Wednesday night with these wonderful, sweet people in my life.

[These little ones have my heart! Love their little souls so much. They will all grow up to be amazing, women of God.]

[They will be world changers.]

This is Olga, my wonderful Romanian teacher. She has taught me so much and after 19 lessons of 1.5 hours of language, I want to continue my learning in the States. She told me today that when I come back to Moldova, her apartment will be open to me and whoever I come with. They will, hopefully, be all moved into the home they are building and the apartment will be open for rent. So future husband, we have a home in Moldova. We just have to get there ;D

A word from the Lord I read today:

Psalm 52:8-9

But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever. For what you have done I will always praise you in the presence of your faithful people. And I will hope in your name, for you name is good.

Baptisms, food, traveling, sunburns..

2011-07-03T08:32:00.006-05:00

I can't believe it is already July. This summer has already flown by so quickly. Moldova has been great and I've tried to listen, understand and dissect every minute in this beautiful country. This past week we had a few days without electricity, met new friends from YWAM, said some good-byes, ate delicious food, drank coffee, watched movies, and enjoyed the beautiful landscape surrounding us. We spent the night at the FH on Wednesday night and they made an amazing Tajikistan-style rice dinner. It was so good! The girls, Caroline and I were watching the news after the kids had gone to bed and the news was talking about this court case. The girls had turned up the volume and were sitting very closely to the television, soaking up every word. I asked *Sophia if she could translate and tell us what they were talking about and her eyes lite up. She said that the 16 men that were in the courtroom were former traffickers and they were all being sentenced! What a glorious day and moment! The girls were clapping and smiling.
Now if you were to take a step back and look at this situation and even try to glimpse inside the minds of these girls, what would you see or feel?: Joy, sorrow, happiness, would you hear them remembering things from their past? Would you imagine them seeing their trafficker put behind bars? What a wonderful, redemptive day that will be. I was so happy that the girls saw that there is hope. That there are those people who are being put behind bars for the evil actions that they have done. I have become closer to *Sophia over the past couple of days. She helps me with my Romanian and bears with me when I don't understand something. Her smile and joy for life is beautiful. It's hard to believe that a wonderful human-being like *Sophia was torn apart, from the inside out. She struggles with sleeping at night due to nightmares. Be praying for her because just this morning she told me she didn't ge to sleep until 4:00a.m. again. Bless her heart.
Gosh, that reminds me that the goodbyes that will happen in a week are going to be so hard.

Today three girls from the Freedom Home were baptized! What a wonderful step into an even deeper relationship with Christ. It was a huge step for the girls and the love of God was written all over their faces. As the girls were talking up to the platform I thought, "Where were they a year ago? Did they even fathom that their lives could be different? That Gods love has restored hope into their lives? It brought tears to my eyes. It was a privilege to be apart of a wonderful day. We took so many pictures of the girls and their kids and everyone that works at the Home but I can't post them. Just know that their smiles are vibrant, their spirits are soaring and God is working in their lives. This picture below is where they sat when we prayed for them before we all headed outside (in the rain I might add) for them to be baptized.
I think it's neat photo. That's neat.

Caroline and I were able to travel to Odessa, Ukraine with our friend Anna. It was a blessing to have her along because she spoke Russian and Romanian. We traveled by bus at night (going through 2 passport checkpoints at 2 and 2:30a.m. in the morning) and arrived in Odessa at 5a.m. Of course nothing seemed to be open so we were able to see the city before most people were actually up. The city was so quiet... and I was desperately ready for a coffee :) The only place that was open for that kind of need was McDonalds but a cappuccino from anywhere is great at 5a.m.! The sun seemed to be at a perfect place in the sky so early in the morning and my pictures turned out much better than I thought they would. I was quite pleased. The city and Black Sea were beautiful. If you ever get to this side of the world, I recommend going to Odessa or anywhere near the Black Sea. The beaches are so cool because not only is it white sand that covers the beach but seashells that have been broken down into really small pieces. It was so cool! There were things that you would expect to see while in a Eastern European country, things you would find somewhat normal; coffee shops, old historic buildings, unique apartment buildings, the aroma of the Black Sea, tourist-y things to go to, really busy people walking really fast by you because you are walking too slow, dogs everywhere, and really fast cars that shouldn't be driving as fast as they are. Then there are the things that just aren't as normal; gypsy beggars, dead animals, brothels, men in tight speedos and old ladies with really thin bikinis. Even in all the laughter about the awkward men and women at the beach I was still reminded that Odessa is a port city. A city where trafficking is a huge problem. It had me thinking that even as I sit on the comfortable, beautiful beach there could be and were girls that were being kidnapped, drugged and/or sold to some pimp at that very moment. It killed me that I couldn't do anything about it. But you have to be careful. When you are passionate about something you cannot beat yourself up about not being able to do something at every waking moment, it's humanly impossible. Fully rely on God, be faithful in Him and know He has all things in His hands. This is what I have to remind myself after I read an article about girls who have vanished from their village or after reading a novel that was based on a true story and facts about trafficking. The statistics and stories are real but God is bigger.

As this weekend wraps up, I pray you are having a great time with your family and friends. Enjoy those moments, they only come around once!

Blessings!

Buna Ziua! [Good Day!]

2011-06-28T15:20:00.007-05:00

There was a beautiful sunset the other night and we all just had to get pictures of it.

We didn't have electricity for a few days and on top of that it rained enormous amonts of water. I didn't think it would bother me that much until I had finished a whole book then realized I didn't have much communication with the rest of the world. Stinkin' facebook, e-mails and blogging...you got me hooked! But it was a much needed quiet time. There was solitude and simplicity in the whole household. It was as if this was a much needed time of rest and refreshment. I know the Missionaries I am with deserve as much resting time as they want.

We had bread and cheese during the evening hours. There were flashlights and candles in areas that we needed them and everyone was playing games or reading their books. The Raatz girls have re-kindled my passion for reading once again. Thank you girls!

The girls at the home have been doing great. The precious hours that we get to spend there are becoming more and more valuable to my heart. Today I had to say good-bye to *Ali. She will be going home for two weeks and I won't be here for another two weeks. I go home in 12 days. As she told me to write her letters in English and Romanian and as we kissed each others cheek good-bye, I realized that the 11 other good-byes are going to be that much harder.

Good-byes can only sustain for as long as the heart can hold to being gone.

And one of the girls at the home got ahold of my camera this afternoon. The following pictures are what she took and they are absolutely wonderful and so precious. She wanted to take a picture of everything and everyone she saw. She was so excited to see something stay so still and stay there. What a beautiful smile she had as she snapped each picture.

And know that the photographer is being redeemed, loved and cared for by our Maker.

Enjoy.

God is an amazing God. Didn't think I could be more madly in love! I'm captivated by His beautiful creation all over the world.

And I just finished Three Cups of Tea [recommended to me by my wonderful friend Ninive]. I didn't think I'd ever say this but I'd like to be in the Middle East someday. Lord willing.

Blessings to you and the rest of your week!

[and I am so very frustrated by the way the pictures taken by the girl turned out on the post. They are not supposed to be spaced out that much or that sporatic. So sorry. enjoy though!]

A rainy Saturday morning.

2011-06-25T06:35:00.002-05:00

Psalm 40:1-3
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him."

Yesterday when I was at my language lessons my teacher, Olga, said something that was saddening. She asked me (in Romanian) how I thought the people in Moldova felt. I said they were happy. Before I could finish the rest of my sentence her face became sad and she said, "No, no they aren't." I stopped abruptly and just looked at her. My thoughts and emotions were a bit caught off guard. I have heard from other Moldovans that they don't like where they live and they don't have patriotism at.all. Olga continued to tell me that the people in Moldova don't know how to have hope. The people are constantly jealous and envious of those around them.
It made my heart heavy. This woman that I have grown close to in a friendship, who loves her country and wants to best for it, knows that her people are unhappy. That looks so different to us Westerners who think that if you are unhappy, change something about your life so that you are. Why not change if it benefits you? Olga asked me. We came up with that some people are used to a generational cycle of poverty, apathy, poor education (if any), and lack of knowledge about the environment around them.
Be praying with us for the people in Moldova to find joy and happiness and faith and trust in Christ.

Oh beautiful Friday!

2011-06-24T01:00:00.003-05:00

This week has been wonderful; full of laughs, smiles, questions, answers, frustration, tears, and love. Life in Moldova has proven to be an assortment of so many emotions.
Each Wednesday night, Caroline and I stay the night at the Freedom Home. This past Wednesday we arrived at the home and the girls were in the kitchen making dinner. They had smiles on their faces and welcomed us saying Buna Ziua Ana, Buna Zia Caroline. We played with the children, outside and inside. Their joy for life that night was contagious. As we all sat down for dinner, it felt like this was a family. The Freedom Home is family for these girls. It probably brings a sense of security and love in their lives. If it hasn't yet, it will. Pray with me right now that if there are girls at the home who don't feel loved or taken care of, that they will today. God is so good and pray is so powerful.
The Freedom Home has a ping-pong table. I'm asked every Wednesday (since it has been set up) to play with one of the girls. Lets just say the first time I played, she felt very bad for me and we quite early. This Wednesday night was not going to be that night. We played and played. We laughed...and at one point so hard you couldn't hear out laughs anymore. We were pretending that we were ping-pong champions and the crowds were cheering out name. It was glorious. Then...then I slammed into the wall. I was the closest to the wall and I was so concentrated on the ball coming across the table that I forgot to slow down as I was stepping backwards. BAM! Full force into the wall. I've never seen her laugh so hard at me. She was on the ground and reenacted the scene quite a few times for the rest of the night. These were precious moments that I have loved so much this week!
There are so many stories that involve the Freedom Home this week, some highlights:
In the mornings they have devotions and it is a beautiful thing to see the girls hungry for the Word of God and willing to ask alot of questions.
They have ALOT of cherries at the home during this time of year. Yesterday I was eating one and one of the girls came up to me and said, carne? I started to laugh so hard! It is a joke that the worms inside some of the cherries are great protein, so hence, they call them carne. meat.
And also yesterday morning I felt like there was a bug on my neck but I was around the kids and I didn't want to scream so I tried to compose myself. The bug wouldn't leave my neck! So I quickly turned around in my chair and who was standing there, the girl who said carne earlier in the morning!! We laughed so hard and she was making fun of me in Romanian. Love it!

well I have a yummy breakfast awaiting me. I pray you are all having a great day! Thank you so much for your prayers and support.

It's Moldova.

2011-06-21T13:31:00.005-05:00

Today was a valiant day for one of the girls at the home. She faced her trafficker today in court. We are all so proud of her courage and strength. We aren't sure how the court hearing will go but we are praying for her favor and not the scumbags. If had been in that court room, Lord only knows what I would've done to that horrible man who thought it was a great idea to hurt and abuse women and girls. I'm sure if I ever am in that situation God will deal with my feelings directly.
I'm so happy for her though. God is doing a great thing in her life andbe praying for the other girls who have not yet testified against their trafficker. God is a God of justice and those men who hurt them can be caught! And God will give these girls courage and strength. The Freedom Home has an amazing staff of women who are ready to stand right alongside these girls. So blessed to be apart of what God is doing.
It was a good day at the home. The girls make beautiful art pieces for the local Salvation Army so they were busy with those projects today. One of the girls has been at hair school for the past few days. She comes back with a smile on her face everytime :) The 4 kids at the home are doing great. They have become more familiar with Carolin and I over the past few weeks and it is always so wonderful when they come running to you when you arrive at the home. Their laughs are contagious. Their smiles are contragious. Theire simple love for life is contagious. Little kids are the organic root to the simplicity and happiness of life.
The girls and staff are still in their English lessons and they are blossoming. I love being in the room and seeing them learn. It makes them so happy when they figure out what a word means or how to pronounce a word correctly.
Prayer requests for the home:
-Still be praying for a Director for the home. Transition can be hard for the girls and staff so be praying for peace and security in each one of their lives. (the former director left for personal reasons and the home (and Raatz') are praying and seeking the Lord for a new one)
-Pray for the girls as they (one by one) are testifying against their traffickers. They are heroes and worthy of so much. Though, these hearings can be difficult to go to because they have to see their former trafficker face to face. And sometimes the girls (not the ones at FH) are bribed to not show up to court. It is a horrible cycle and too many pimps are getting off free from the pain and despair they have caused to so many women and children.
-Praying for finances for the home
-Pray for more homes to open up throughout Moldova. (if you read enough books about sex trafficking you may notice that many Eastern European girls are trafficked to Russia, Asia and Western Europe. They are trafficked for many reasons (lied to by others, given fake jobs, poverty, kidnapped..the list can go on) and many go back to the same situations. These homes are a safe haven and a family community for these women and girls.
Thank you for coming alongside all of us in Moldova and praying for these girls!
___________________________________________________________________

There have been some really funny things that have happened in the past week and I just have to share them with you!:
Recently Caroline and I have seen too many big bellies! The men love to cool off their bellies from the summer heat by lifting up their shirts and tucking it in to the top of their belly. These picturesque beauts can be seen on most rutieras that transport us all around Chisinau. Gets me everytime.
Another thing is the hair here. The women have Dolly Parton hair and Im afraid that something..or someone lives inside of it.
Hahahahaha also it's always interesting to muscle your way out of the 101 rutiera at 10pm on any given night. It's usually full of sweaty, smelly, TALL people who pack into the car like a herd of elephants! It's hilarious! There are countless times where when I step out of the rutiera it feels like I go from a heater to a ice-box in less than 1 second.

It has been a wonderful day in Moldova. Finished the day with curry chicken, rice, peas, italian salad, carrots and water made by the infamous Nancy Raatz.

and...

right at this moment: nancy, caroline and I are laughing histerically to just about everything we hear and see while sitting in the living room. you'd have to see it to believe it but you'd be laughing right along with us. It's been a good day. God is so good.

comfy clothes on a Sunday.

2011-06-19T08:36:00.003-05:00

Oh Sundays, how I love that you make me want to wear cut-off sweats and a t-shirt right after church. Your slow-moving time with your care-free thoughts has caused me to do exactly that.
I have been in my comfy clothes since I arrived home from church. I am proud of my choice.
And as I sit here, with a cup of coffee at just an arms length away, my mind goes back to the experiences and stories of today.
There was something that I was told on my way to church today that just made my skin ripple. It is a horrible story about a young girl who is a beggar that is frequently seen at this particular intersection in the city. Today we saw her at that intersection on our way to church. She seemed so distraught but was always smiling. I kind of wish I had taken a picture of her. Nancy then told us that she was an orphan at a certain orphanage in Chisinau and she was at this place in the city most all of the time. She said she heard from a friend of hers that this young girl was taken advantage of by thirty men one night. thirty men. I was disgusted at the male race. I was angry at the demand for young girls to suffice the needs of man. When it crosses your mind, be praying for this girl and all girls alike in the world who are coerced to do things they don't want.
That is really the only story that stood out in my mind.

The rest of the day has been spent going to the market and purchasing fresh vegetables. An absolute favorite of mine.
In the past week I finished a book. I recommend reading it if you have the time:
"Sex Trafficking: Inside the Business of Modern Slavery by Siddhartha Kara".
I sit here thinking, When will we see the beauty amidst the desperation from the millions who have no voice?

a morning not planned correctly.

2011-06-17T02:06:00.002-05:00

Psalm 25:12-13- Who, then, are those who fear the Lord? He will instruct them in the ways they should choose. They will spend their days in prosperity, and their descendants will inherit the land.

This morning did not start off as planned. I decided that working out first would be the best idea...hahahha not. Totally wrong idea Annie-Laurie. The T.V. didn't work so no Jillian Michaels and I quickly resorted to frustration at myself and the T.V. Stupid I know, but we all have those mornings. Little did I realize (or want to realize) was that if I had taken a step back, prayed, taken a deep breath, the idea of using my laptop would have been my first reaction. But no, my flesh was the first to respond. The laptop ended up working but after the workout, I practically ran to the Word. I am reading in Psalms and this is what I stumbled upon. He will instruct them in the ways they should choose. To enjoy my day, to enjoy my life I need to be saturated and choose to live with the God-desires of my heart, not the flesh-desires of my heart.

this.week.has.gone.by.too.fast...again.

2011-06-16T08:56:00.007-05:00

It really seems that time flies while doing things that you love. I find that concept so alive and true when at the end of the day you plop down on the couch and let out a deep breath and think "Today was a good day. It wasnt perfect, but it was a good." As of right now, my hands still smell like baby. My hair has been in a side braid for more than a month. I need a shower and clean clothes. The dress I am wearing has become my closest companian with the summer heat. My love for cherries is slowly dwindling (as I have too many every time we pick them..). Apples are still my favorite fruit. Hillsong fills my hears and mind with the wonderful praises about my King. I'd say that this sums up the end of my day, everyday.
My heart for the girls at FH just swells up with care and love with each day that I spend with them. I get to see how they interact with each other (and with not knowing Romainan very well yet or Russian at all, I can see that actions definitely speak louder than words :)). Last night we went to the store with a few of the girls from FH to get some late-night snacks (girls are the same all over the world!). I saw that one of the girls was getting some meat from the deli and I was thinking "what is she going to do with all that meat?". As we arrived home (with 10 mins until curfew, whew!), she put her daughter to bed, went straight to the kitchen, counted every one in the kitchen, pulled out the cut bread and then cut up the meat. It was a beautiful thing to see. As she was passing out the food to everyone I leaned over to Caroline and said something like, "Caroline, her gift is to give and make sure everyone is comfortable. I would want to hurt whoever thought it was o.k. to hurt her." Everytime I spend more and more time with the girls and their children, I find myself sometimes thinking that if I ever came in contact with the people who hurt them, I might hurt them! I am so thankful that they are at the Freedom Home. They can find freedom and hope. God is so good and He is revealing His love and safety to each girl, day by day.

Today we picked cherries. There were so many!

The girls at the home are going to make jam, soooo good!

I hope that you are having a great week. Thank you for your continued support and prayers!

Prayer Requests:

-Permanent/regular counselor at the Home

-Continued restoration for the girls

-Steady and secure staff for the Home

good evening!

2011-06-13T14:58:00.011-05:00

[two things] first: some men in moldova don't shave their armpits. today a man at the mall was stretching his arms, he had a tank on and there was no hair. I repeat no hair in the pits. Definitely caught me off guard.
second: please try to say "fish mcwrap" 10xs fast.

hahahahaha.

This weekend was nice and relaxing. We found a Moldovan garage sale on Saturday and I fell in love with all of the knick-knacks they had. I definitely plan on going back to that glorious find. We went to the market and got some fresh veggies and fruit. We made a fantastic Italian Pasta for dinner on Saturday and we are still snacking on it. Sunday was a great day at church and it was wonderful to see the girls from the Freedom Home being welcomed so warmly by this small church. There really is freedom rolling through their veins from this church, God is so moving in their lives. Little Elena was a hoot during the whole service :)

And it rained like no other last night. There were instant floods in many of the streets in our neighborhood and man was it loud.

Today as I was walking to the Freedom Home from my language lessons I just had to take some pictures of the cool things I see everyday.

I love the beauty in Moldova. It's so creative, rustic, and simple.

There was a heaviness on the Home today. The women were sensitive and there just seemed to be a heightened level of emotions circulating through the Home. Always be praying for these women and all the women who are victims of slavery around the world. They each go through so much and have to deal with more than we can imagine after. Pray for a house counselor for the home; someone who can regularly come to the home and counsel the women.

And tonight Caroline and I (along with some new YWAM friends) ventured to Malldova and went bowling! It was a blast!

La Revedere!

[Oh! And we were caught in a very closed-quartered rutiera from the Mall tonight. After slithering through the rough crowd, I thought "I think may now know what my child will go through when birthing..." A thought that quickly fleeted from my mind. No worries.]

Friday, friday, friday, fryday, frieday, friday.

2011-06-10T12:48:00.004-05:00

At 6am this morning, I was woken up by a loud noise of the rain hitting the tin roof located right underneath our window. Not that those italicized words mean anything other than the tin roof was conveniently built right below all the apartment windows ;) But it reminded me of the times when my family and I lived in Oregon. We would camp by the coast multiple times in the summer. And every morning there was always a morning rain shower, dad was already up making coffee for him and mom, and usually there were hot cocoa packets in the igloo bins for Audrey and I. I remember having to grab a swooshy-raincoat from my suitcase, slip on my flip-flops, pull back the hair, zip up my sleeping bag, then enjoy a yummy camp-style breakfast on the damp, wooden benches with the Pacific coast breeze gently making its way through the campsites. Those times are precious to me and I was so happy that this morning reminded me of those sweet times.

We had a mentoring time with Andy and Nancy this morning, it is a great time and I am learning so much about leadership. We are going through the book, The Making of a Leader. Inside of this I am figuring out that I am in the Inner-Life Growth stage, full of tests; obedience, integrity, and Word tests along with analyzing past experiences and seeing what we have learned. This internship has come at such a great time in my life.

After our time at the Raatz', I quickly gathered all of my belongings and headed to the main road to catch a rudiera to Olga's house for Romanian lessons. I really enjoy my times with Olga. She is such a sweet woman to talk to, she loves talking about "her" Moldova. I have not only learned language but also so much about this culture and who the people are. Over fruit tea, coffee, and little biscuits, we talked about Transnistria. A portion of land that divides Moldova and Ukraine on the east side. It was so interesting to hear what she had to say about the country, such a mysterious place to me. I encourage you to research about this piece of land, it is super interesting.

I was able to spend a few hours at the Home today. The women seemed a bit on edge, but then again it had been raining off and on all morning and being coop-ed up inside a big house all morning is SO not fun. They were out on that swing-set before I could say the rain had let up ;) These girls are becoming more and more dear to my heart. It is going to be so hard to leave. No, I won't think about it.

They had English lessons today. It was exciting to see the girls wanting to learn and catching on to different words and sounds. I think that they help each other too much during the lecture portion but hey, who cares right? Slowly but surely each little one woke up from their naps. Elena was the last to wake up and her momma was out at the store so I had the honors of feeding her noodles. It was a joy to see her act out "cooling-down" the noodles and then pretending to eat them. Her beautiful smile and mischevious laugh brought joy to my heart.

As the sun has completely disappeared on the horizon, Im left with remembering the Lords faithfulness. Not quite so sure why it is on my mind but nevertheless this isn't a bad note to end a day on. God is good, all the time. He is there at the Freedom Home protecting those girls and their children. He is in Missouri protecting my family from whatever may come their way and He is right here beside me as my eyes are becoming drowsy and with my mind thinking, "7am comes too quickly.."

Always be praying for the women at Freedom Home.

2011-06-09T08:57:00.005-05:00

freedom [free-duh m]: n.
1. the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint.
2. exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.
3. the power to determine action without restraint.

Last night as we arrived at the Freedom Home, there was a sense of peace. The girls and the children were outside in the backyard playing on the new swingset that had been put in only a few short weeks ago. There was laughing, chattering and smiles galore. The girls have loved that swingset since it was put in. (Some very nice church in America funded the project, well worth it and so needed!) There have been countless times when I look out the window and see the mothers swinging on the "big-girl" swing, with no children around. It is as if they quietly tip-toed outside just so that they could get a quick drink of freedom. The girls will swing as high as they can, with no fear. It is exhilarating to imagine that with every swing pain and despair will go away and joy and freedom will enter in these girls lives. This morning, as I was making a cup of coffee, I looked out the kitchen window and saw one of the girls outside on the swing (with no child in sight ;)). She was singing loud and swinging high...all with her eyes closed. In that instant I thought "These beautiful women could find this swingset to be a place where they could feel their freedom. Where they could sing joyous songs of praise, swing high, and feel the Moldovan breeze...all with their eyes closed." Do you remember doing that as a child? I sure do. The breeze flowing through your hair made you feel invincible, like you had the whole world at your finger tips and nothing was stopping you. I prayed in that moment that the women at the Freedom Home would feel that. Even when the hardest moments arise, that they would feel that they are invincible, worthy of a second try at life and absolutely precious to the Lord.

"I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay. You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

Psalm 16: 7-11

joy

2011-06-08T00:12:00.002-05:00

there is
joy
joy
joy
joy
down in my heart to stay.

Joy is in our spirit. Now it is just learning how to release it.

morning thoughts.

2011-06-06T01:08:00.002-05:00

This weekend I learned more about something. I have heard and now I am accountable.

In Matthew 9:16-17. "No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. Neither do people pour new wine into the old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out, and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into the new wineskins, and both are preserved.
1. Old wineskins are old ways and thoughts.
-these old wineskins hinder a person from being open and aware to the new things
and creativity that the Lord brings to those who are willing.
-old wineskins are not a part of the empyting process. the time and moments in our lives
where we know that the Lord is the only part of our lives that we are to depend on.
-pride and bitterness are huge hinderances from new wineskins.
2. The new wineskin that we conciously set before us everyday will draw is closer to the Lord.
-new wineskins are a sign of change and growth.
- a new wineskin means that we are aware and open to newness in our lives.
(ex: new ideas in ministry that the Lord is showing us; being aware of those new waves
of ideas for a church)
-Isaiah 55:8; "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher
than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
-John 3:30. "He must increase, but I must decrease."
-Psalm 46:10. "Cease striving and know that I am God, I will be exalted among the
nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
It is all about being poor in spirit: "Poorness in spirit is that humility which looks away from self, and depends upon the strength that is stronger and the wisdom that is wiser than we."
(Dr. Spiros Zodhiates)

Be open, aware, accountable to yourself and the Lord in who He wants you to be. If we are choosing to listen to our old ways than there is no room for change and growth in the Kingdom of God.

Be blessed today!

the weekend coming to a close..

2011-06-05T12:51:00.006-05:00

this little cutie brings so much laughter and joy into the home.

This beautiful cup of coffee up above has been a life-saver in many moments of my time here. Nancy and I have decided that coffee is an addiction. There have been countless times where I depend on its beautiful caffeine. As so many of you know, I love coffee. As the sun fades into the backlight of the earth, I sit here wondering if I did all, learned all, saw all, embraced all, and changed all I could today. Did I do my best? There might have been times when I was out and about with the Moldovan people where I didn't quite show Christs love to them. Im on the oublic transportaion quite a bit during the day and there are many times when I am so tired that I am capable of ignoring those around me. Yesterday I found myself sitting next to an older lady who was just chatting away in Romanian. She was smiling and laughing and gesturing to me to probably laugh and smile with here. We had a great conversation, thanks goes to my Romanian language teacher who taught me the basics. The lady never knew I only spoke English ;) Oh the beauty of actions speaking louder than words.

[i just thought this was great. a large beer bottle is placed on-top of the fence. niiice]

I saw these pieces of art on our way to the french patissorie.

time flies..

2011-06-02T15:14:00.003-05:00

I can hardly believe that tomorrow is Friday. It feels like just yesterday was Monday! This week has flown by so quickly. Caroline and I spent a large majority of our week at the Freedom Home. The girls at the home have really seen alot of break throughs in their lives, Im excited to hear more in the future.

Caroline and I spend the night at the Freedom Home once a week (Weds nights). It is a good time to see more of how the home works and who the women really are. I have loved spending time with the girls and their kids; playing outside, having tea at 11pm at night and not being able to go to sleep until the wee hours of the morning, and having devotions with them.

I am learning that God is bigger than it all and I should have no fear.

Thank you for the prayers. God is good and He is doing a great work here in Moldova!

Amidst it all, we will see beauty.

2011-05-30T12:38:00.007-05:00

Things have been going great here in Moldova. So sorry I have been slacking on the blog posts. I have decided that it is harder than it looks! :) I am coming up on 3 weeks here and it has been wonderful so far. Caroline and I have ventured alot into the city of Chisinau.; from eating Moldovan food at La Placenta, to being at the Freedom Home with the girls, to roaming the outside markets, to getting smashed against the window due to a full Minibus ride countless times...we have had great experiences and memories!
Thank you for prayers, support and for believing in me.

I have realized that there has been something overlooked before coming here. Being overseas isn't going to make me into a more cultured, rounded person who can mark off another country traveled to. I find it hard to go somewhere and not have a purpose. This experience is going to mold, shape, burn, break, redefine, confuse, establish, and show me how to be more like Christ. I cannot do any thing without Him. I am nothing without Him; in my heart, soul, thoughts, desires, passions, and moves. He is my everything.
Lately I have been thinking about beauty. Where did it come from? What is the root of a word that has decided to overcome so many young girls minds? I only place it in that category because this internship is only working with girls and their children. The girls at the home have re-opened my thoughts about beauty. So looking up the definition opened up a can of worms.
Beauty: the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations, a meaningful design or pattern, or something else. [haha the end of this makes me laugh]
The wonderful, lively girls at the home have beauty. They may not realize it but they radiate it every day that I see them and even those days when we are seperated. Their past is behind them, sure it catches up with them somedays but they are becoming free from a life that has bound them for too long. Their acts of valor and even those moments of learning to be better moms, a better friend and then becoming more of a woman of God are all acts of beauty. They are learning more about God and who He is in their lives. They are learning that He didnt forget about them when they were being beaten and bruised. He still finds delight in them. He believes that they can still change the world with who they are. They can rise up to be just like any successful person in this world. Because in the end this world doesnt matter, its how they chose to be and it is how they chose to be who they are. These woman motivate me to love them more. They challenge me to love others more. They may not realize it but they help me every time I see them. Their hugs, smiles, and patience with my Romanian have blessed me.

[welcome to the land of the white legs: the man beauty of moldova]

Beauty is the core of it all. Beauty is what started the world. Beauty is the root of love. God is beauty. God is love.

[ little cutie patootie!!]

[girls at the village we went to for a few days, dont be fooled by the cute smiles! they were mischevious! :)]

[see?!]

[this little guy was adorable!]

Silenced:

While off chasing my own dreams,

A little girl cried for her freedom.

My heart steadied to a slow beat,

Love doesn't live here anymore.

A little girl cried for her freedom.

The old man turned off the light.

Loves doesn't live here anymore;

Innocence taken and forgotten.

The old man turned off the light,

he wouldn't be the only customer.

Innocence taken and forgotten,

her eyes cast no more hope.

He wouldn't be the only customer.

The red lights diffuse the noise.

Her eyes cast no more hope,

ignored for long enough.

The red lights diffuse the noise,

you have forgotten about me.

Ignored for long enough,

she wants to go home.

You have forgotten about me,

My heart steadied to a slow beat.

She wants to go home but

I'm off chasing my own dreams.

[this was written by me in a class I took this past semester. still speaks a thousand words to me.]

[Moldova:1]

2011-05-13T13:38:00.005-05:00

chisinau, moldova:

May 11: Landed in Chisinau safe and sound with only a mild case of jet-lag. Nancy and Caroline (the missionary and other intern) were so nice to point out my lack of quick response to our conversations and the frequent "deer-in-the-head-light" stare out the car window. And it was only 1 in the afternoon! I had a long day ahead of me. Caroline and I were brought to our apartment that we will be living in for a short time.

[our kitchen and view]

After a tasty meal at Andy and Nancy Raatz' home, I quickly fell asleep (due to a intake of benadryl and jet-lag).

May 12-13: Caroline and I had orientation at the Freedom Home, a restoration and community for women and their children who are rescued from human trafficking. Due to the confidentiality involved in this internship I need (and have) to be very careful with the information I tell and post. So there may not be as much about the women and their lives but who needs to know personal things about EVERYONES life in the whole world? I will tell you about the happy, joyous, funny, maybe sad things that happen while I am at the home. So look more for that later on as Caroline and I get to the FH more often.

I will be taking Romanian lessons MWF for one hour, I am stoked for that! They start this Monday. It is so important that I catch on as quickly as I can! Learning the language is so key to wherever it is that you go.

We have used public transportation more than I have ever before since being here. We take it to and from the FH. To lessons to the Raatz' home to downtown to pretty much wherever you want to go. We have made it to the open market a few times and it is beautiful. The fresh veggies, fruits, and spices are fabulous. There is just something wonderful when knowing you are eating something so fresh and tasty!

I have met some amazing people in the last few days. They have blessed my heart and I am excited for the next few months with them. The people of Moldova are near and dear to my heart. They are beautiful people who are searching for a significant purpose in this life. Please pe praying for our safety while here in Moldova and for health. Also, for the women at the home. Pray that they are open to friendships with Caroline and I...two months is not long enough but it is a starting block! this women are beautiful creations of Christ and He loves them very much. Restoration and new life is essential for them.

annie-laurie

March 28, 2011

2011-03-28T10:16:00.005-05:00

I love reading books. Recently I just finished a most amazing read. It inspired me to want to do great things. I wanted right then and there to drop the book, catch the next flight to some desolute, war-torn, hidden-by-trees village. I came across the book by the cute, little Nepali child on the front. Isn't the kid just so dog-gone cute? The book was written by Conor Grennan. A man who just wanted to travel the world in on year. I think he found more than that. On his first leg of the adventure he volunteered at a orphanage in Nepal called Little Princes. He got to know those kids, fell in love with those kids, and would do anything for those kids. After those three months he did end up traveling the world but he went back many times and ended up calling that place home before he got married. There was an excerpt from the book that just really struck me as a victory. Conor had just gotten an email from the love of his life-Liz-and was heading back to the Dhaulagiri Home (a house he set up for the children of Nepal) and this is what he experienced: "I went over to the Dhaulagiri to tell Farid the good news. As I was leaving, I ran into Leena in the foyer, alone as usual, staring out the front door. She was wearing her woolen maroon hat. The house maintained its chill with remarkable efficiency, regardless of the temperature outside. The hat was clearly too big for her; it was difficult to get clothes donated that fit the children exactly right. This particular hat, though, stuck up well of the top of her head. The elastic in it, meant for clutching a much larger cranium, was pulled together at the top, in a kind of a cone shape. It reminded me of a plunger, and that made it entirely too tempting to pass up. On my way out, I took it and plunged it up and down on her head, making a sucking noise. She giggled. I froze. It was the first sound that I had ever heard her make. I whirled around to see if Farid or anybody else had heard it. But no, we were alone in the hallway. When I looked back down at her, she had moved. But not just moved--as it took me a moment to comprehend: she was running very slowly away from me, looking back and waiting for me to chase her. So I chased her. She burst out laughing and took off for real. We ran all around the house for a full ten minutes. Farid came out of his room and did a double take as she sprinted past. He too froze, not wanting to break the spell. I scooped up Leena and carried her, smiling and giggling, over to Farid, and delivered her into his arms. Farid was wide-eyed. "This is amazing" he said, shaking his head. "It is amazing." I said. And just like that, from one day to the next, after months of not speaking, Leena had broken through her stone casing. She was a happy little girl." Little Leena was a young girl who was striped away from her parents at a young age. I cant imagine what she went through before she ended up at the home that Conor set up with Farid. I can only imagine that if this home had not been set up, Leena would still never be happy. This book was just one of many epiphany moments in my life. I have realized more and more that this, what Conor did is what I would love to do. I will go through whatever door the Lord opens. I so encourage you to read this book. {Little Princes by Conor Grennan} It changed my life. Once again.

March 14, 2011

2011-03-15T00:32:00.003-05:00

i sit here wondering what i could write next. what inspired me today. what got me thinking. what made today...great.

i found joy in laughing today. i loved being around those friends who, with their joyous laughs, made me happy. friends have always seemed to be the cure for a broken spirit, huh? they seem to be with wonder-working medicine.

my best friends have inspired me to be something great. to do great things.

i couldnt ask for more.

bethany, alyssa, vanessa, samantha...you girls bless my life.

love you!;

lars, snoops, al, nips, laurel, annie, annie-laurie.

March 13, 2011

2011-03-13T19:57:00.006-05:00

restlessness

that devours my soul.

that quenches my every thought and move.

im down on my knees

willing to go wherever and anywhere you want me to go God.

just a little while longer and I'll see You, know You and be with You.

my soul sings.

[oh the yearning to give this young girl help, love like a sister, restoration, hope, Gods comfort, food, laughter, joy, laughter, and peace]

awaken us,

like a

wildfire.

awaken us,

to do great things

for your

Kingdom.

Peace.

2011-02-25T14:10:00.004-06:00

something we're always looking for but just finding the right place to find it.

i found peace in Catholic Basilica. I never thought that would happen. but i found
the high archs and detailed tapestry that were high up in the ceiling enchanting. it reminded me of the peace that surpasses all understanding, the peace that the Lord gives us. I love that man so much. He made beautiful things where we can bask in that beautiful presence and think about the great things that He has done.

the quiet, serene creak of the wooden floorboards led me to these candles. each one buring in a memory of someone who had died. the catholics know how to remember those that have gone before us. it's kind of bittersweet.

they had these beautiful colorful windows with vivd images and bible verses all over the basilica. they were monstrous and huge. they took up wall, covered in history of the people who had built this magnificant mansion of a building. what were their thoughts behind each biblce verse?

this got me. a box that says 'remember the poor' that is stationed right beside the exit door. its there right in front of you as you head out the door. dont forget the poor. one of the greatest things that the Lord says to us. dont forget that the love, hope and mercy that you recieve from Him goes directly to those who are forgotten, pushed aside and left for nothing.

kind of like a smack in the face. but a reality check for the reality that sits right outside the big glass-paned doors.

Philippians 4:7 "and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus"

benefit the world. discover the soul.

2010-10-06T10:03:00.006-05:00

As I sit here in class and I wonder about what this day could turn out like, I think about they way I could live my life. Now bear with me with my random thoughts...

I could live a life where I was so happy and I knew when the next paycheck would come. I could have a house that I loved with kiddos running around with their neighborhood friends in a suburban community with a public water park only blocks away. I could find fulfillment in that. I could have a husband who worked 40 hours a week and came home to me and the kiddos every night at 5pm with dinner ready on the table and the Vikings..NO the Broncos game on in the living room. I could do that, no problem. But there is something burning up deep inside me that I know I am made for something more. I know that I have certain skills and gifts that God has given me that shouldn't go unused.

I found that when I went to India I found my soul. I found that I loved being there. I loved that I could learn Hindi, I loved that I was comfortable taking a city "auto" taxi across town. I loved those people. I loved that I could be a part of a ministry that reached out to kids. Discovering your soul takes pain, dirty work, challenges, change, hunger, tears but also laughter, joy, success, accomplishment, and a new love. I believe that India is just one of many places where I will discover my soul. I feel like in someway the team I was with benefited the world and through everything...we discovered our souls.

He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

[Psalm 37:6]

Our cause. Our call. Our lives benefit the world. Our souls. Our words. Our very existence was created to make a difference. I know I just don't want to sit here in class and make this day any ordinary day. I know that for a fact that everyday can possibly be different from the last.

My actions. My dreams. My passions. My desires. My life is all about discovering my soul. What I can do to benefit the world. All with Christ by my side and a passion in my heart.

joy..

2010-09-26T13:24:00.004-05:00

Its finding the joy again when nothing seems to work.

Its finding passion again when everything hasnt worked.

Its knowing that the healing process is super messy and not fun, but totally worth it in the end.

joy:
the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.

In the past joy has come so easily. I would find joy in the smallest things...from a little kid laughing to a zebra at the zoo. But because of so many "bigger" things that have happened in my life, the joy has seemed to disappear. I want it back. Im trying. I have people around me as a support system; either they are also trying to find their joy again or they understand because they have overcome this dry spell.

Its not like Im a unhappy person...goodness I laugh all the time. I just dont find joy in many things anymore. Its not like I am fake either. Its really hard to express...

I find the church revolting. I find that I judge the person who is at the pulpit..are they really who they are beyond the words they express on stage? Are they authentic? Ive come in contact with so many church leaders who are not who they really say they are. Ive been hurt by the church..as many of you have. I think that is where I lost my joy. There is this wall thats been built up and its so hard to climb over it. Its like I get just enough momentum to climb over it and then I fall.

Its a healing process to become satisfied again. The healing process isnt fun either. Its usually super messy and overwhelming and tons of prayer time..but in the end its totally worth the pain and humility.

I know I am somewhat in the wrong for not liking the church. I know I shouldnt judge the leaders...God has appointed them for a reason but I am real person and human. I dont do things right most of the time and I say things to quickly before reasoning.

There are steps I have made in the healing process.

1. Ive found a church where I feel authentic. Where I feel like the church isnt perfect but it still feels authentic.

2. Ive admitted that I dont find joy in the church.

3. I understand that God knows me and knows my challenges and will be there right alongside me through it all.

4. I have the body of Christ right at my finger tips to help me.

5. God has placed me in this time for a reason and his Word will sustain me...I will not fall.

And...maybe the person I am waiting on is myself...

compassion is nothing without hope.

2010-09-18T16:57:00.009-05:00

The light in their eyes when they saw our team kept me going.

I miss their sweet laughs and beautiful smiles.

They blessed my life beyond words.

I cant get their faces out of my mind.

Their pictures are the only memories i have right now.

God loves them just as much as he loves you and i.

My life will never be the same.

Here are some of their beautiful faces:

26,000 children died yesterday.
145 million orphans waiting to be adopted.

We want to go deeper without applying anything.

Just existing isnt enough anymore.

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion--to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They shall be called mighty oaks, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor."

Isaiah 61:1-3

These little children are heading to sleep right now in their makeshift homes..dreaming dreams of who they may want to be...their little bodies that God loves so much. I just cant forget them.

Chicago Airport

2010-06-23T23:43:00.002-05:00

I'm in the Chicago airport and I love seeing the diversity of the people here. I have already heard so many languages from all different parts of the world. It just ceases to amaze me the beauty of cultures and people. God is so amazing.

As I was sitting in the waiting area at my gate I started to wonder what the rest of the world thinks about good 'ol America? We are so weird and self-centered sometimes. But then there are the chosen few like the lady at Starbucks who grabbed me a straw because I couldn't reach them or the army officer sitting across from me playing with his young daughter. There are the "true" Americans who make this country great.

Just being here in a place full of people makes me ready to be somewhere different. I really want to be with people all the time. I want to be around people that I have never met before.

I find people so interesting. They way their mannerisms are and who they are when they think that no one is watching. So I think that people watching is my new favorite thing...I'm sure my best friends and family can agree with that :). Hah I just saw the cutest kid ever on my plane to Arkansas! He had blonde curly hair. He smiled and looked at me...he had the most beautiful blue eyes. I remember another time when a different cute curly, blonde haired boy would smile at me...I am content though. I'm not ready for anyone else, I think I have too much self-discovery, traveling to far away places, and different kinds of coffee to experience in every country :) I love the independence for now. (ha, for now are the key words) Lord bring me comfort and joy and completeness!
Hah anyhoo..
kids are the cutest things. They bring a smile to my face on any down-day I have.

Holy Cow when I was in the air I could see everything on earth! I saw so many look-a-like homes and their circular outside blue pools dotting the landscape. It's interesting to see the American life-style from a different view. But I found the earth to be so beautiful from that angle. I think that it is hard for me sometimes to explain my great love for nature, Gods beauty and my love for Him. Goodness I want to see the seven wonders of the world. I want to experience and see first hand the waterfalls in the jungle, the snow-capped mountains found all over the world, and the small villages tucked away in a forgotten world. There seems to be so much to see and discover.

And as the plane glided into the abyss of clouds I quickly remembered how fragile our lives are and how important they should be to us. And up above the clouds I wondered how much farther up heaven was. (btw I think that throughout the whole writing of this message I incredibly annoyed the lady next to me :) )

Being up so high made me want to go skydiving!!

if only I could quickly learn how to drive a manual tranny...

family matters

2010-05-15T00:08:00.006-05:00

Today was beautiful. There happened to be a beautiful sky out. There were birds chirping and bugs in our hair. Oh the bliss of summer :)

This has been the first day at home with great weather and to kick it off my youngest sister had a track meet. Man I was definitely going! Those sunrays and I needed to meet once again. (the countless rainy, cold, dingy days in Minneapolis were no more!!) But I have to tell you, this was not your ordinary track meet. This particular event was exclusively for Christian schools and homeschoolers....and you could tell the difference between the two. My family and I stuck out like a sore thumb too. We each had a starbucks coffee in hand, shorts on, we were loud, and I think we laughed more than any of the people there. I'm sure someone thought we were all crazy.

But who gives a rip.

Today my family meant so much to me. I realized just how dear and special they are to my heart and soul. They make my heart happy. Like today when my dad, sister and I went to pick up starbucks for all of us, my dad was so funny ordering the drinks. The drinks had to be correct. It just made chuckle. And when we were at the track meet, my parents were so involved in all of the events. They made sure the kids were at the right stations (and the right running lane!) They cheered them on even if they were dead last. It didn't matter to them either way. As I scanned the crowd and saw all of these families...I realized how blessed I was. I had great, loving, caring, funny, determined, Christian, real, authentic, wise, willing, supportive, amazing, gracious, coffee-crazed parents who would do anything for me. They would (and do) put their lives on the line just to see me learn and grow.

My dad and I had a conversation today on the ride home from the track meet. After I talk with my dad I always feel wiser and as if I know more. He and I were just talking about character and faithfulness and how true that needs to be in our lives. It just kind of hit me like a truck; at the end of the day it is my character and faith that matter. The actions that I have during the day make me who I am and it is my faith that keeps it all together. Faith imparts action and action imparts hope. Does that make sense? It's our faith without seeing but trusting that what we don't see will take us somewhere wonderful. It's like we take a chance with life and just believe that we didn't miss the mark. Just take everyday at a time.

But back to my family.

We had a great time at the track meet. We were also going to Montana today too so we had to get ready for that. But one thing about my family, we get so distracted so easily. I think that while we were packing we found things that we did not know we had and talked about them with one another. I remember my youngest sister having a giggle fest with herself in the living room and when I caught her giggling, it turned into a roaring laugh. You've got to love innocent hearts. My favorite part about packing up and heading out somewhere with my family are the remarks that are made to each other. The remarks are normally targeted towards the person who is the most sensitive at the time and/or who packed the most. Today it was Audrey (the middle, neglected, forgotten and whatever else she calls herself middle child) and my mom (I swear she packed up everything and the kitchen sink!). We usually laugh away every comment and silence out every bad one... Road trips with my family are a blast too. We usually find some odd radio station and jam out to it. Today it was some heavy, metal rock band gone really bad and we all loved it. I think my mom was head banging, my dad was trying to stay on the road because he was laughing so hard, and Anika (my youngest sister) was trying to videotape the whole thing. In the end, I think we had the greatest laughs because we all knew we were silly. It is the times and moments like these were I feel free and happy. I am with the people that I love the most, they know most everything about me, and I can be Annie-Laurie around them.

I love my beautiful, amazing, caring, loud, crazy, hilarious, normal, God-fearing, determined family.

I dont have enough time tonight because it is getting late and I have to get up tomorrow for a family gig but I want to write a whole blog about my family. Each one of them are so dear to me. They individually each bring something different to the family and to my life. So definitely expect that very soon.

the moments i wonder about the most..

2010-05-12T16:21:00.000-05:00

This picture here makes me wonder...why in the heck is it snowing in May? I came back from college hoping for some sunshine and countless afternoons at the park. But today I work up to a cold bedroom and a foggy window. As I wiped away the frost from the window I realized that whatever I thought today was going to be like was thrown out the window. I guess that goes for every moment in life...not everything is what you picture it to be.

I woke up this morning with countless thoughts that have overwhelmed me the past few months. Thoughts that aren't the best to think about on a cloudy, snowy, wet day. Thoughts that don't make you feel like a better person because you think about them too much. Like, why did he really leave me? What is it about church politics that disgust me so much? Am I really ready for the 'real'-world? Is is ready for me? Will my dad find a job soon? Is my sister going to get married before me? Does weight really matter? Should it?
I wanted to take captive those thoughts, throw 'em to the ground, tell them they don't own me...and forget about them. So I woke up, listened to some jams and ate some strawberries and raisin bran for breakfast. mmmhmmm...

So instead of taking the day as a crappy day because of the dreary weather. I took a full stride forward and spent the afternoon with my mom at a coffee shop. We talked about life. Man I missed my mom while I was at college.

{skinny dulce de leche...blissfully delightful}

Here is where I am the most vulnerable.
I find that a cup of coffee helps me un-wind. It re-juvenates me and creates a atmosphere where I become everything that I want to be...right in that moment I let-go of everything inside of me. Coffee is soothing for my soul and mind. I really believe that coffee shops were created for individuals to express themselves. For people to sit down and un-wind from a long day or for them to get ready for a long day. Coffee shops remind people that there is simplicity in life.

Our conversation: My mom and I talked about church politics. How horrible they are and how detrimental they are to people who call themselves "Christians". How whatever people think is right or wrong is thrown out the window. My family and I were so hurt by the people at a church that we called 'home'. What a load of crap that is now. It's been 6 months since the whole ordeal started and I'd have to say that my family is pretty strong. My dad lost his job because of it. (you see he was the pastor of the church and a group of people hated him, so they stabbed him in the back and threw him out) It's taken months for me to forgive these people but believe it or not...most of the bitterness is gone. It's still hard to see those people and look them in the eye. It's still hard to hear them say things to my family like "you need to find God" or "the church did the right thing". What is right and wrong in this situation? Its crazy.
I loved talking to my mom though. She is so wise and so funny. She reminded me that God is blessing us and we are going to be fine. My family is going to be okay, that is all that matters right?

We moved into a new home. Across town from where we lived for 8 years. It's weird to think I will never live there again. So many memories there! But new beginnings are new steps into life experiences. Those new steps will take me places I have never been before. I am about to embark on a new aventure this summer...a new desire to travel and wander.
Apartment 10...my new abode.

Wanderlust.

2010-05-11T15:18:00.000-05:00

So this is my first time blogging. I'm nervous because I don't know who will listen, who will read this or who will even really care. I found my inspiration to create one from other bloggers that I've followed over the past few months. I'm going to figure this out...make this interesting for you.

So just bear with me.

(These are my best friends. Without these beautiful, wonderful, amazing women in my life I would not be who I am today)

Before I leave off for the day I wanted to tell you why I chose the blogger name: wanderlust.
The words means: a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about. My whole life up to now has consisted of traveling. I find myself wanting to be somewhere different and beyond my wildest imagination. I want to travel the world. It is almost like a drug that I cannot get enough of. I find that I want to know about people, their lives, their cultures, their countries. This blog will be about the lives I come in contact with and the experiences I face.

This summer I am going to India for 4 weeks. So you can be sure I will be putting pictures up of those beautiful people and their stories.